Fearless Reason

Fearless reason in an age of frightened absurdity.

Tag: suffering

Most Merciful God

Most merciful god. I am in resistance to what is. I have not loved you with my whole heart. I have not loved others as myself. I have sought my will, and not yours.

Most merciful god. I have been blind to your mercy. I have not seen the perfection of this present moment. I muse that if things were different, we might all be happy…we might all be in love…we might all be at peace…we might all seek god. Yet this moment cannot be other than it is. It is, what had to be.

Most merciful god. We must know despair to understand happiness. We must be consumed by hatred to crave love. We must know the horror of war to prefer peace. We must experience separation to seek wholeness.

Most merciful god. May I see this suffering as grace. May I surrender to your will. If this is the path we must walk to the kingdom of heaven, may we tread quickly. Amen.

Do Not Mourn Destiny

Do not
mourn
destiny.

What was
had to
be.

This
moment
is perfect.

In
tragedy
and success.

Learn
from
suffering.

Stop
chasing
success.

Do not
mourn
fate.

A Great Turning

When I began this blog in November, 2011 I was an atheist, and wanted a place to espouse the virtues of rationalism. That led to several diatribes over the course of several months that extolled strength and the virtue of reason without passion. Then in 2012 I had a spiritual awakening that continues to transmute the dross of my being into the sublime bliss of our infinite and loving god. I followed reason down a rabbit hole of mysticism, and have lived in Wonderland ever since. As a result my posts have slowly shifted from diatribes to prose and poetry. My mind has slowly drifted from the analytical, to constant blessing and praise of the infinite mystery that is you and me.

With each new stage of my spiritual journey I revisit whether “Fearless Reason” is sill an appropriate name for this blog, and each time I quickly conclude it is more appropriate now than ever before. I began this journey as a rationalist and atheist, then in 2012 had an awakening that transformed me into a spiritual seeker and solitary mystic.

Over the years I have allowed god’s grace to transform me from the inside out. The bliss of my initial awakening has never left me. It is always with me, waiting to be noticed. Asking only that I turn my attention towards it and enter the divine embrace. At first this communion was limited to periods of meditation, but is increasingly an abiding companion. As a result, my prayers have been reduced to one: for sanctification and perfect union with the great mystery.

I have often thought that god hid from me until I was thoroughly enmeshed in the world in order to keep me out of a monastery or cave; and that also seems more true now than ever before. Throughout my journey I have continued to live the life of a  householder. I have practiced law, built a home, and found a mate. I have been extremely active in the world and honor my obligations to family, friends, and community. But along the way I have always had beating within me the great mantra and sublime bliss, growing ever louder, waiting to be noticed, and now impossible to ignore.

I am now at the beginning of yet another turning point. In recent years I have felt called to share something of what I have found with others. But the appropriate expression of that sharing has eluded me.

However, as I begin moving from solitary mystic towards spiritual community, the mode of that sharing and service are becoming more apparent. Increasingly I find myself in the midst of beautiful souls who wish only to see god; but karma, pain, and suffering hide him from their eyes. Yet by god’s grace and their willing heart, I can alleviate some of their burden. I can hold them in the stillness of my samadhi. I can take their karma and burn it in the fire of my love and bliss. No suffering is too great, no trauma too daunting. We can give it all to god.

Blessings to all the beautiful strangers and soulmates who have read this far. Pray that I have the strength to follow the path god has set me upon.

Namaste,

Zachary

The Fire of My Love

I burn
your karma
in the fire
of my love.

I hold you
in the emptiness
of my
bliss.

Give me
your burdens
your pain
your suffering.

Give me
all that
you no longer
wish to bear.

I give it
as a fragrant offering
to the
divine.

I transform
your suffering
in the fire
of my bliss.

Compassion for your Children

God
grant me
the grace
to have compassion
for your children.

Preserve
my heart
that it may not
grow hard
from overuse.

Grant
me the patience
to balm
even self inflicted
wounds.

Lord
may their
endless suffering
never hide you
from my sight.

 

May the Suffering End with Us

May the
suffering
end with us.

Let us
receive
it.

Absorb
its
inertia.

But not
pass it
on.

May the
suffering
end in us.

Let us
heal
it.

Transmute
its
nature.

Then
pass it
on.

May the
old world
end with us.

Wed to Suffering

We are not
haunted
by our memories.

We
haunt
them.

We
revisit
the past.

Searching
for
meaning.

Picking
at
scabs.

Pain
becomes
us.

Divorced
from the
present.

We are
wed to
suffering.

I Believe in Progress

I believe in progress. Not necessarily at the social level, but at the level of the hearts and minds of each sentient being. As a pantheist the only difference I see between the creation and god is the illusion of separateness. The former being a fragment of the whole experiencing separateness to learn, grow, and enrich the creation/creator. This perspective assumes a certain evolution of consciousness/soul from the elements, to animals, then humans, and ultimately beyond. Each stage with its own lessons learned over many incarnations, as god becomes individuated consciousness on its long path back to source.

This perspective views the human incarnative experience as the stage of self-awareness working on the lessons of love. Love being the means by which we pierce the illusion of separateness and remember that all is one. What comes next is indeed the Kingdom of God, but this perspective requires each individual to build it in their own heart and mind. Therefore, the Kingdom of God is already among us.

This perspective believes each individual is responsible for their own salvation; that salvation is the work of many lifetimes, and that all beings ultimately find their way back home. We live on a planet of incarnative humans at all different stages of their journey, and the free will of each must be respected to learn their lessons at their own pace. Unfortunately, the instrument of instruction is suffering, and when the values of souls who haven’t learned the lessons of love takes over a society suffering ensues.

While I can work towards building a more loving society through politics and other mundane means, when the majority of people in my society insist on learning the lessons of love in a different way, then that is as it must be. The question for me and my journey is do I stay and witness the suffering and alleviate it where I can, or do I find a society more in alignment with my values?

Accidental Saint

Accidental Saint.

I lost myself.
I lost my mind.

I lost my past.
I lost my future.

I lost my pain.
I lost my hate.

I got drunk on being.

I discovered god,
I gained eternity,
I found bliss.

I have peace.
I have joy.
I have love.

I whisper prayers, and silent blessings.

May all beings know peace.
May all beings have joy
May all beings find love.

May all beings awaken.

Crucified

Perhaps another meaning of the crucifix is that each of us does not merely bear a cross, but that each of us is crucified in the process of living. Life is suffering, and if it has a purpose, perhaps it is to release our own indwelling Christ consciousness. The only constant of life is the impermanence of form. All happiness fades, just as all sorrow comes to pass. Our suffering causes us to have more compassion for those who suffer. Our losses, as inevitable as they are senseless, force us to search for the constant within.