Fearless Reason

Fearless reason in an age of frightened absurdity.

Tag: #spiritual

Ancient Universal Call

Where am I going? Who is god calling me to be? What is this ancient universal call towards simplicity and surrender? I crave the sweetness of silence, retreat, solitude, and a more primitive and authentic life. I wish to throw myself into the light, and be obliterated by god’s bliss. I wish to exist in that timeless state always. Not merely in stolen moments from the profane, when heart and breath are stilled, and the mind is set free.

If I were more adept, more Tantric, I might achieve continuous union with god in the midst of  a busy modern life. Yet this life and mankind’s bobbles and delusions separate me from god. Their distractions pull me under into unconscious states. Their lures seek purchase on my time and attention, seeking to fill all my days with mundane nightmares.

I am in the world. I am of it. Yet my soul seeks desperately to be free. It wishes to retreat to the margins of society and empire. It seeks a primitive life at the mercy of god’s grace. It seeks the immediacy of the real and abhors the artifice of the man made. It swells in my chest and beats at my brow, yearning to be set free.

Merely Another Worldly King

He was
merely another
worldly
King.

Chasing
power
wealth
and fame.

Legions
obeyed
his every
whim.

Yet he
was unable
to master
even himself.

His coffers
overflowed
with ill gotten
gains.

Yet he
would never
have
enough.

His name
was known
by many
lips.

Yet he
was a stranger
to his
very soul.

Just another
worldly King
chasing fleeting
power, wealth and fame.

Do Not Mourn Destiny

Do not
mourn
destiny.

What was
had to
be.

This
moment
is perfect.

In
tragedy
and success.

Learn
from
suffering.

Stop
chasing
success.

Do not
mourn
fate.

Truth

Truth
is the
gateway
to love.

Through it
passes
ultimate
reality.

Vulnerability
is the key
to the
heart.

Through it
we unlock
intimacy
with god.

 

Sanctification: A Love Story

Sanctification is not about self-denial. It is a love story. It is about falling in love with the deepest and truest aspect of our being. It is about falling in love with god. After that, everything that separates us from god simply starts falling away. Sanctity does not require us to deny anything. It asks us only for our attention. It asks only that we love god and our neighbor more than ourself. Sanctity does not call us to self denial, it calls us to be the truest version of ourselves. It calls us to ignore distractions and shed our false self.

Self Revelation

Self revelation is the first step to knowing god. Only when we accept and acknowledge all of our little “I ams” are we able to begin to understand the great “I AM” that is all things. Loving, knowing, and accepting the self is our first initiation into loving, knowing, and accepting god. As long as we reject or fail to acknowledge those aspects of ourselves that cause us shame, embarrassment, or pain, we reject and fail to acknowledge our own particular manifestation of divinity. The only way to enter into communion with infinity is through our own finite beings. As long as our discomfort, fear, and lack of self-worth blind us to the totality of our being, god will remain hidden.

Beloved Community

Beloved community, it is you that I seek. It is you that I have always longed for. It is your absence that has led to every neurotic and compulsive thought I have ever had. We were made for one another, you and I. Apart, we all went mad. But together, we will be well. Held together in arms of unconditional love and mutual care, we will be healed. Beloved community, it is only within you that I am whole.

Poverty of the Soul

My karma predisposes me towards asceticism. That may have been a virtue in a different culture and age, but in this world it has made me a slave. I grew up poor, in a poor community, in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I have never prioritized pleasure or happiness, because I was taught those were luxuries we could not afford. That fidelity to joyless duty has followed me into the middle class, and along my spiritual journey.

Even after awakening to my true nature as an infinite being of love and bliss, I have remained in some ways impoverished. I have passively accepted things that serve neither my happiness nor that of others. I have retreated into inward bliss, as the inertia of a middle class life set in motion before my awakening consumes most of my time with things that serve a life I do not desire.

This world rewards those who doggedly pursue their desires to the exclusion of all else, no matter how misguided. I have seldom had strong desires beyond my desire for union with god. Before awakening I did not know yet what I sought. So I set about building a safe middle class life designed to alleviate the condition of material deprivation.

Then within months of starting that middle class life, I awakened to my true nature, and realized the worst poverty is that of the soul. I now wistfully reflect on the freedom of that materially impoverished child from the mountains. He wanted to seek god, but had no one to show him the way. I now know the way, but have less physical freedom than ever before. How long will I continue serving a middle class life designed to alleviate a poverty I no longer fear?

Love Requires the Community of Lovers

Love requires the community of lovers. Alone it shrivels and dies. Perhaps some rare saints and perfect beings can love in the absence of love. But I am not a perfect being. Alone, my heart grows heavy then numb. In the community of lovelessness, I become loveless.

Love requires the community of lovers to stay alive in my heart. It needs gurus of love, who exemplify vulnerability, giving without expectation of return, and abundance. I can rely neither on god nor my own efforts to learn the lessons of love.

Much has been given to me by grace and self-discipline, but my heart requires the community of lovers. Truly, love cannot be learned from god nor the inward directed gaze alone. It must be received from your fellow beings, then freely given, without expectation of return.

Emergence from Retreat

I spent this past weekend in Asheville at a spiritual retreat with soulmates. These retreats are rare, and only occur once or twice a year; but the light gained always prompts transformation, healing, and opening of my heart. I see in these moments of retreat the more beautiful world my heart knows is possible. I also see within myself the more beautiful version of myself that is possible.

It is a place where people look one another in the eyes, and enter into silent communion for moments, minutes, or for a period outside of the reckoning of time. There are no perfect beings there, but each being is striving earnestly to be a more perfect and loving version of themselves. There is magic in the air when one or more gather in his name.

My heart seems to have grown three sizes over the weekend, and god’s peace and bliss seems more firmly rooted in my being. But already I find a world and life out of alignment with love and peace chipping away at those gifts. A hectic schedule and stressful job demand that my time, energy, and attention be expended on things that do not serve me or others. People have stopped looking me in the eyes and sharing their souls. The suffering world, that has not yet identified the source of its suffering, lashes out at me in pain.

All these things separate me from god, my soul, and my peace. Is it my duty to forsake them, or try to share some of the peace and love I have found, before it is gone? I know the answer is out there, but I doubt my courage to know.