Did I notice god, or was I noticed? I think he must have always been there, waiting to be seen. Supporting me as he supports the universe, with tenderness and infinite love. Always reaching for me, and waiting patiently for me to reach back. Yes, that must be it. I noticed god noticing me, and I reached back.
I noticed god noticing me and reached back, and I was welcomed by a bounty of bliss. I was invited into the divine dance between finite mankind and our infinite god. But we aren’t just dancing, we are drawing closer.
I prayed that there be no separation between us. I prayed for all that does not serve my highest good and the good of others be taken away. I prayed for sanctity. I prayed for the dance to never end and that I be drawn into unending union.
I prayed many prayers, with no small amount of trepidation. How I sympathize with St. Augustine’s wayward words, “Lord make me pure, but not yet!” But the time for wayward prayers has passed.