Fearless Reason

Fearless reason in an age of frightened absurdity.

Tag: love

Splendor of my Being

You
cannot love
what you cannot
see.

Blind eyes
behold only
projections of
their mind.

Unable
to grasp
the reality
of their beloved.

Cling not
to the mirage
of that
which is beloved.

Behold
dear one
the splendor
of my being.

Do You See Me, Beloved?

Do you
see me,
beloved?

Would you
like me
if you
could?

Do you
understand me,
beloved?

Would you
know me
if you
could?

Do you
love me,
beloved?

Would you
see and understand
if you
could?

The Choice

Choosing to love rather than hate, choosing peace over war, choosing interbeing over separation. The choice is simple. It is the only thing we were born to do. It is the culmination of our evolutionary journey as a species. Nothing else matters. Not career, ambitions, ideology, or identity. The ends can no longer justify the means, because the end is here and we are merely a culmination of means.

The choice is not determined by the past or a predestined future. The choice is made right here now. In this present moment. The only moment where decisions are made. The only place where old things come to die and new ones come to be born.

Every other consideration is noise now. Where is the love in the present moment? Where is the peace? Where is the interconnection? Every other thing passes away. Every hope, dream, ambition, and identity has become ash.

The world is falling apart, but I find myself falling upward. Did you make the choice today? How did you choose? Was there love? Was it worth it?

Beloved Warden

Beloved
warden.

I am
bound
by love.

And your
invisible
strings.

Beloved
warden.

I am
captivated
by duty.

And our
implied
promises.

Beloved
warden.

I am
imprisoned
by inertia.

And my
fickle
heart.

Most Merciful God

Most merciful god. I am in resistance to what is. I have not loved you with my whole heart. I have not loved others as myself. I have sought my will, and not yours.

Most merciful god. I have been blind to your mercy. I have not seen the perfection of this present moment. I muse that if things were different, we might all be happy…we might all be in love…we might all be at peace…we might all seek god. Yet this moment cannot be other than it is. It is, what had to be.

Most merciful god. We must know despair to understand happiness. We must be consumed by hatred to crave love. We must know the horror of war to prefer peace. We must experience separation to seek wholeness.

Most merciful god. May I see this suffering as grace. May I surrender to your will. If this is the path we must walk to the kingdom of heaven, may we tread quickly. Amen.

Truth

Truth
is the
gateway
to love.

Through it
passes
ultimate
reality.

Vulnerability
is the key
to the
heart.

Through it
we unlock
intimacy
with god.

 

Love Requires the Community of Lovers

Love requires the community of lovers. Alone it shrivels and dies. Perhaps some rare saints and perfect beings can love in the absence of love. But I am not a perfect being. Alone, my heart grows heavy then numb. In the community of lovelessness, I become loveless.

Love requires the community of lovers to stay alive in my heart. It needs gurus of love, who exemplify vulnerability, giving without expectation of return, and abundance. I can rely neither on god nor my own efforts to learn the lessons of love.

Much has been given to me by grace and self-discipline, but my heart requires the community of lovers. Truly, love cannot be learned from god nor the inward directed gaze alone. It must be received from your fellow beings, then freely given, without expectation of return.

Emergence from Retreat

I spent this past weekend in Asheville at a spiritual retreat with soulmates. These retreats are rare, and only occur once or twice a year; but the light gained always prompts transformation, healing, and opening of my heart. I see in these moments of retreat the more beautiful world my heart knows is possible. I also see within myself the more beautiful version of myself that is possible.

It is a place where people look one another in the eyes, and enter into silent communion for moments, minutes, or for a period outside of the reckoning of time. There are no perfect beings there, but each being is striving earnestly to be a more perfect and loving version of themselves. There is magic in the air when one or more gather in his name.

My heart seems to have grown three sizes over the weekend, and god’s peace and bliss seems more firmly rooted in my being. But already I find a world and life out of alignment with love and peace chipping away at those gifts. A hectic schedule and stressful job demand that my time, energy, and attention be expended on things that do not serve me or others. People have stopped looking me in the eyes and sharing their souls. The suffering world, that has not yet identified the source of its suffering, lashes out at me in pain.

All these things separate me from god, my soul, and my peace. Is it my duty to forsake them, or try to share some of the peace and love I have found, before it is gone? I know the answer is out there, but I doubt my courage to know.

Fear is the Absence of Love

After my awakening my heart opened, and I was raptured with divine bliss. But while the bliss has never left me, my heart almost immediately began its retreat. I awakened to a life built by a self that did not know love, that could not understand it or believe that such a thing existed as a real force in the world. It was an unconscious and loveless life, and my newly awakened heart was horrified by what it found.

I knew that embodied love could not live the life I was living. Love demanded I change everything about my life at once to serve god and my fellow beings. Love asked me to forsake my identity, my profession, my ambitions, and all my preconceptions about the world. Love demanded that I die completely to myself – and I feared death.

So my heart retreated, but did not close. It stayed open just as much as my life could bear. Like a candle in the night it continued to burn, illuminating those things that were loveless and wrong, and calling me to change them. First it illuminated my violent and selfish thoughts. Then it came for my careless and loveless actions. One by one, on and on, it has illuminated my sins and called me towards conversion.

I have changed much over the years, and have shifted many things about how I choose to be in the world. But many loveless circumstances remain that are informed by major life decisions undertaken by my former self. I brush up against those circumstances with love, and try to shift or transform them. But I fall short of rejecting or abandoning them outright.

So I allow them to do violence to my heart, because I fear letting them go. I hold onto an identity that is no longer true, a profession that does not serve me or others, and remain attached to habits, big and small, that separate me from god and others. Truly, fear is the absence of love.

 

Violence to My Heart

I cannot keep doing violence to my heart. I can no longer ride the inertia of the great omnicidal world destroying machine. I am asked each day to deny the god in others and the world, and with each denial my heart grows more heavy and finally numb. Then the greatest sin of all. I no longer feel the suffering of the world. I no longer notice the god in my fellow beings and the creation. I turn my eyes upward and cry out, “God why have you forsaken me!”…and he responds, because you have forsaken me in others and my creation.

I can no longer keep doing violence to my heart. I can no longer forsake my god in others and in his creation. I can no longer passively ride the inertia of the great omnicdal world destroying machine.