Fearless Reason

Fearless reason in an age of frightened absurdity.

Tag: fear

Fear is the Absence of Love

After my awakening my heart opened, and I was raptured with divine bliss. But while the bliss has never left me, my heart almost immediately began its retreat. I awakened to a life built by a self that did not know love, that could not understand it or believe that such a thing existed as a real force in the world. It was an unconscious and loveless life, and my newly awakened heart was horrified by what it found.

I knew that embodied love could not live the life I was living. Love demanded I change everything about my life at once to serve god and my fellow beings. Love asked me to forsake my identity, my profession, my ambitions, and all my preconceptions about the world. Love demanded that I die completely to myself – and I feared death.

So my heart retreated, but did not close. It stayed open just as much as my life could bear. Like a candle in the night it continued to burn, illuminating those things that were loveless and wrong, and calling me to change them. First it illuminated my violent and selfish thoughts. Then it came for my careless and loveless actions. One by one, on and on, it has illuminated my sins and called me towards conversion.

I have changed much over the years, and have shifted many things about how I choose to be in the world. But many loveless circumstances remain that are informed by major life decisions undertaken by my former self. I brush up against those circumstances with love, and try to shift or transform them. But I fall short of rejecting or abandoning them outright.

So I allow them to do violence to my heart, because I fear letting them go. I hold onto an identity that is no longer true, a profession that does not serve me or others, and remain attached to habits, big and small, that separate me from god and others. Truly, fear is the absence of love.

 

I Pray Aversion Is Not A Sin

I pray
aversion
is not
a sin.

For I
become
more intolerant
by the day.

Love and
acceptance
may be
my creed.

But I recoil
from fear
hatred and
greed.

Would that
I knew less
of the ways
of men.

Abstractions
are far
easier
to love.

I pray
aversion
to perversion
is not a sin.

For now
I must
turn
away.

Love Need Not Be Feared

Intimacy
need not
be feared.

Love
should not
be quarantined.

Give
yourself
to somebody.

Entwine
your soul
with theirs.

Meet
them in
their eyes.

Trust
yourself with
another self.

Share
the abundance
of your heart.

Love
is not diminished
by being given.

Given
it only
grows.

Scarce
only when
withheld.

Love
need not
be feared.

 

A Western Heretic

I am a western heretic; having lost faith in the religion of my people, that constant technological progress is necessary and universally good.  Our creations reflect our inner nature, and we cannot escape spiritual infancy with technological maturity.

We built a world on the foundation of the ego’s never ending want. A world premised, on the externalization of identity and a rejection of the present moment. We built a world to divert our anxious minds, and give comfort to our decaying flesh. Abandoning inward seeking for outward buying, selling, and coveting.

The seeker became the consumer, and from cradle to grave remained an infant all his days.

We got lost in time; mourning the traumas of the past, and intermittently dreading and hoping for a non-existent future. Abdicating the present moment, which upon inspection, is never lacking.

We built a world that produces misery, in all its varied and sundry forms. Vainly hoping that one form will be better than the last, and will satisfy for a time the ego’s endless craving.

We are ugly inside; filled with envy, greed, fear, and hate. So we built an ugly world, that reflects our inner nature, in amplified and varying forms.

To Become an Exile

I feel a pull
inward
to become an exile.

To withdraw
from a public
that has become
sacrilege to my private values.

I am bewildered
that the worst in us
has become commonplace.

I am a foreigner
in my land
a place
where hate is more desirable than love
fear more tolerable than acceptance
and ignorance more comfort than truth.

I do not know these neighbors and friends
that I once assumed shared a common decency.

A decency now uncommon
as the worst in us
becomes middling.

I have become
a stranger
in  a strange land
that has lost the capacity
for self-preservation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kind Hearts and Sweet Dispositions

My visits to Buddhist and Unitarian spiritual communities over the past month have served as a much needed boost to my faith in humanity. Trump and his followers are on everyone’s mind, even as we reach for that which is most sacred. The reactions are uniformly quite horror and confusion. “I don’t understand, they seem to live in a different world,” is a frequent refrain.

Trump is an avatar of a mindset and spiritual disposition that is diametrically opposed to these sweet seekers. He embodies fear, hate, and ignorance; whereas they cultivate love, grace, and empathy. He seeks to build walls, where they seek to build bridges between themselves and their fellow beings. We all awaken this life or the next, and must sometimes wonder in darkness to know and love the light.

While I strive to love and understand by brothers and sisters lost in fear, hate, and ignorance; I am eternally grateful for the kind hearts and sweet dispositions of those fellow seekers for whom darkness is an unfathomable affliction.

Into the Void

Occasionally I break the cardinal rule of anyone who values their sanity and peace of mind; I read the comments section of news articles. An while it can be a jarring and disheartening experience, I encourage you to do the same.

It reminds me that I have the privilege of living a manicured life. Over the years I have cultivated a circle of friends that I both cherish and enjoy, and have meticulously groomed my social media feeds to the point that everything I see is thoughtful, informative, or uplifting. As a result I have attained an artificial sense of the world being comprised primarily of thoughtful and intelligent people with good intentions.

Then I stare into the void of the comments section, and all my pretty illusions crumble like gossamer in a fire. The depth of the fear, hate, ignorance, and hysteria I see varies depending on the news source, but is always quantifiably present. What world do these people live in I wonder, surely it is not the same as mine. Who are these aliens that have such drastically different understandings of science, morality, and justice?

Then I take it a step further, and visit these aliens on their home worlds. In a click, I am on their social media profiles, looking at pictures, prior posts, and their self-identifiers. These aliens are human after all. They have families they love, friends, jobs, hobbies and passions.

They are human and we share a common Earth, but their manicured world is much different than mine. Their faces have a lot in common, old, white, and working class. Much like the family I love, but studiously avoid discussing politics and religion with. In these moments I feel empathy for even the most vicious troll. I am reminded that we are not so different after all, and that only time and education divide us.

As Thanksgiving approaches many of us will be seeing relatives who may or may not be like the comments trolls that degrade our faith in humanity. Perhaps this year, it would be useful to seek to further understand your similarities, instead of just avoiding your differences. You may not agree on politics and religion, but you’ll certainly have more empathy for these aliens at the dinner table.