A Great Turning
by Zachary Adama
When I began this blog in November, 2011 I was an atheist, and wanted a place to espouse the virtues of rationalism. That led to several diatribes over the course of several months that extolled strength and the virtue of reason without passion. Then in 2012 I had a spiritual awakening that continues to transmute the dross of my being into the sublime bliss of our infinite and loving god. I followed reason down a rabbit hole of mysticism, and have lived in Wonderland ever since. As a result my posts have slowly shifted from diatribes to prose and poetry. My mind has slowly drifted from the analytical, to constant blessing and praise of the infinite mystery that is you and me.
With each new stage of my spiritual journey I revisit whether “Fearless Reason” is sill an appropriate name for this blog, and each time I quickly conclude it is more appropriate now than ever before. I began this journey as a rationalist and atheist, then in 2012 had an awakening that transformed me into a spiritual seeker and solitary mystic.
Over the years I have allowed god’s grace to transform me from the inside out. The bliss of my initial awakening has never left me. It is always with me, waiting to be noticed. Asking only that I turn my attention towards it and enter the divine embrace. At first this communion was limited to periods of meditation, but is increasingly an abiding companion. As a result, my prayers have been reduced to one: for sanctification and perfect union with the great mystery.
I have often thought that god hid from me until I was thoroughly enmeshed in the world in order to keep me out of a monastery or cave; and that also seems more true now than ever before. Throughout my journey I have continued to live the life of a householder. I have practiced law, built a home, and found a mate. I have been extremely active in the world and honor my obligations to family, friends, and community. But along the way I have always had beating within me the great mantra and sublime bliss, growing ever louder, waiting to be noticed, and now impossible to ignore.
I am now at the beginning of yet another turning point. In recent years I have felt called to share something of what I have found with others. But the appropriate expression of that sharing has eluded me.
However, as I begin moving from solitary mystic towards spiritual community, the mode of that sharing and service are becoming more apparent. Increasingly I find myself in the midst of beautiful souls who wish only to see god; but karma, pain, and suffering hide him from their eyes. Yet by god’s grace and their willing heart, I can alleviate some of their burden. I can hold them in the stillness of my samadhi. I can take their karma and burn it in the fire of my love and bliss. No suffering is too great, no trauma too daunting. We can give it all to god.
Blessings to all the beautiful strangers and soulmates who have read this far. Pray that I have the strength to follow the path god has set me upon.